Here are the stories of The Nowhere Pub, which I also think of as “Pub Tales”. The Nowhere Pub is an interesting place … if you can find it.
What is the Nowhere Pub? It is a multi-dimensional, cross time and space, pub. Try and conjure from the deepest recesses of your mind the darkest, seemingly most unfriendly, not-where-you-belong pub. Now magnify that several times. You might just come close to the interior of the Pub. There are tables scattered across the floor and around the edges of the room — which is barely visible. On each table is something which you would think are candles — you’d be wrong — providing barely flickering sparks of light.
There are similar lights hanging over the bar. Behind the bar are several taps for beer and ale — all of which are unlabeled, having merely blank wooden pull-levers attached to them. There’s a multitude of bottles against the back wall, either similarly unlabeled or with labels that are impossible to see or read. Of course, the Pub has a bartender. He’s usually a cheerful sort and, when not serving drinks, spends most of his time polishing the glasses and mugs.
What’s the allure of the Pub? It’s got a few.
For one thing, any drink that exists — somewhere or somewhen — is available to you. Name a beer, and they’ve not only got it, but it’s on tap. Pick a vintage liquor, and they’ll have a bottle — open and waiting to serve you a shot. If you insist on a cocktail, hardly a favorite of the usual clientele, the bartender will have just the perfect ingredients for the absolutely best version of it you’ve ever tasted.
And the clientele — Ah, you’ll find all sorts here; ranging from superheroes who’ve been battered and bruised, to nomadic priests finally made it out of the desert, all the way to space pirates who have offloaded all of their ill-gotten cargo. This is where they go to have a drink, or five, and relax.
The Pub is where stories are swapped. Just don’t try to start a fight. You’ll get one warning from the bartender that behaving that way will require him to call the Bouncer to put an end to it. That always settles the point.
Oh, and the other distinction about the Pub? It’s got two kinds of customers. The Regulars and the One-Timers. You don’t know which one you are until you try and find the Pub again. The Regulars can always find their way back. The door they open to leave the pub will always be the same door they used to enter it — returning them back to wherever they came from.
As for the One-Timers? Well — they get one chance. No one else uses that door? They’re headed back home and never finding it again. They go out through a different door, though, and who knows where they’re headed or if they’re ever coming back.
How do you figure out which type of customer you are? You walk out the door and see what happens. Or, you discover you can find the Pub again.
Sometimes, though, the Pub seems to be good at finding just the right One-Timers. They need a drink. They need to hear some stories. They need … something.
No matter what, the Pub is always an interesting place to visit — if all you’re doing is visiting.
The Nowhere Pub (the stories, not this website) started with a weird thought – what about stories set in a bar (pub) where multiple archetype / trope-like characters from any fictional “universe” could get together, in a guaranteed-non-confrontational environment, sharing a drink and telling stories. I could mix “known” science-fiction characters (or some non-copyright-infringing variation thereof) with fantasy swords-and-sorcery ones. Or even (although I haven’t written any stories like this – yet), those characters that would be adversarial to each other – “forced”, due to the environment, to drink and discuss their woes.
And thus, the Pub was born. When I started writing “Pub Tales”, I didn’t want to just dive into the deep end – after all, the basic idea was still forming in my head – so I started off with an Introduction. I figured introducing two of the three staples of every story would be a good place to start. After that, the stories are, indeed, about characters meeting and talking.
[If you want a bit of a small “challenge”, in the normal Tales, try guessing who the Pub’s customers are modeled on / an homage to. Not all of them are singular characters, as some are a blend of multiples, but they are, I guarantee, all well-known “tropes”.]
To ensure that I (and others) could write Pub Tales without breaking any of the rules of what a Pub Tale could and couldn’t be … I needed to create those rules. In order to “preserve” some of the mystery of the Pub, I strongly suggest not looking at these unless you’re interested in contributing a story, or, at the very least until after you’ve read all of the existing stories. With that warning, if you’re really curious, here are the Rules for Pub Tales.
