I have two sons. I generally don’t talk about them here because, well – this is my page / these are my posts and this should not be about them. However, I am becoming increasingly more and more convinced my younger son, who I’ll refer to as Z, (currently 17) may well be (in some ways) a sort of … Gen-X Reborn.
Rewinding A Bit First
I was born in ’67, which puts me fairly solidly as a Gen-X’er. Unlike “most” Gen-X, though, my parents were not of the “Baby Boom” generation. Both of them were born pre-WW2. Additionally, unlike many or even most Gen-X, I didn’t quite have the massive burden of household responsibilities growing up.
Yes, I was a “free” child and was certainly a “latchkey kid” even for First Grade … in New York City. Back then, this was viewed as perfectly normal and natural. By the time I was 8 years old, my parents had divorced with my mom having sole custody. We moved back to live, for a couple of years, with her parents in a rural area of lower “upstate” New York. My mother still worked in New York City and would commute via train back and forth.
In a lot of ways, I was even more free while living there. I walked to and from the school bus stop. Heading immediately to a friend’s house after we got off the bus was normal, even without needing to “report in” about my not coming directly home.
And, yes, I would hop on my bicycle to ride around the town without needing to provide “tracking data” for where I was or when I would be coming back. Occasionally, I would even stay at a friend’s house for dinner and cycle back afterwards. I’m reasonably sure someone else took care of phoning my grandmother or mother to inform them I was dining elsewhere that evening.
Back To My Sons
Of course, in the “modern day”, it is impossible to even contemplate providing that level of freedom to my own children as they were growing up. For returning from school, the school bus driver was required to see an adult waiting for each child, since, “obviously” (insert eye-roll), they couldn’t be trusted to go the short distance from wherever the bus dropped them (even when it was the literal edge of my driveway) to my house.
With all that said, however, I am reasonably convinced Z has managed to take on and internalize at least some of the traits of my own (somewhat forgotten and oft overlooked) Generation.
Allow me to expand on that more than a bit?
Z’s … “Exploits” and Achievements
As I mentioned at the very start, he is currently 17 – something to keep in mind as I continue.
Employed Since He Was 14
Without going too much into detail, he gained a part-time job when he was 14. It was at the same place his older brother was working. The owner is somewhat of a friend, but that was, at best, only what might have helped to get him hired – not to keep him there. Even the owner commented (repeatedly) to me how he was continually astonished by how hard-working and earnest Z was in performing what were, after all, rote tasks done by part-time high-school employees.
Education Decision
Before entering high school, he had some inkling of the career path he wished to follow. [Never mind he didn’t quite pursue that all the way. That choice was instrumental in shaping much of what followed.]
For where I live, there are two high schools which graduating middle school students are able to choose between. One is a more “traditional” high school, while the other is what’s known as a “VoTech” school – short for “Vocational / Technical”. “Back in the day” (to borrow the phrase) a VoTech high school was, realistically, the place you went if you had terrible grades and just needed somewhere to hang out for the remainder of y0ur mandatory school years.
This VoTech school, though, required applications and, generally, an actual desire to learn some sort of “Trade Skill”. The program which interested him (as being a useful stepping stone towards that ultimate career path) was their Engineering and Machining program. This was a relatively new program at the school and a combination of machining (precision cutting of metal), engineering (figuring out how to make stuff that actually works), and robotics (you should understand this one).
He took to the machining aspect like a fish to water, and utterly threw himself, whole-heartedly, at it. He would regularly come home from high school tossing off standard industry technical terms, all of which gave me an appreciation for just how much he had immersed himself in this. [And, additionally, which generally forced me to get my brain fully engaged simply to follow along with what he was talking about.]
First Car
All throughout this time, Z was also working a part-time job – often with hours which even adults would find overwhelming (given that he was still going to high school full-time). I won’t “out” anyone here, but suffice it to say everyone involved didn’t really give much more than a casual nod towards hours-per-week limitations for “underage” part-time employees. [Even to the extent of my being involved occasionally with needing to provide parental confirmation of “Yes, if the hours are available and he’s willing, I am fine with him working however many hours he can.”]
Throughout this, instead of having the “typical” teenager attitude of “Cool, I have money! What can I spend it on?” he turned his thoughts to the future. He knew he would be granted the “gift” of being allowed to learn to drive a car soon enough. Rather than wanting to be forced to use my car or request a car be purchased for him, he started saving his paychecks.
Yes, he would still regularly purchase something or other for himself, but he was very carefully budgeting how he spent because he wanted to save up. Beyond that, however, he also decided, instead of the (now standardized) automatic transmission which exists in almost every car these days, he wanted to learn to drive a stick-shift.
So, driving permit in hand (and having achieved some level of comfort and ability with driving), he went questing for a car – a used one, because he understood they could still be functional and would certainly be more affordable than a new one. More than that, it had to be a stick-shift and he had a pretty good idea of what he wanted – specifically, a Mazda MX-5 (a.k.a., a Miata).
That’s right – his first car would be a sporty convertible, purchased from a private seller. I warned him he would also be responsible for the auto insurance (not a trivial cost in New Jersey) and I had no knowledge of purchasing a car from other than a dealer. This just gave him even more to learn about, and just another challenge for him to overcome.
Overcome it he did and his first car was, indeed, a Miata soft-top with a stick-shift – which he learned to drive.
Second Car
In the course of attempting to “undo” some customizations the previous owner had made, he wound up (at some point) taking it to the Auto Tech group at his school. There, it was discovered there were some other (more serious) issues with the car, which had been unknown.
Using his abilities to learn more and to network with other people, he was able to arrange to trade his Miata for another used car (slightly more recent vintage of that car). In this case, he wound up trading his Miata for a Honda Accord (again with a stick-shift). Aside from needing to be the person who signed paperwork (as a “responsible party”), I remained uninvolved in the transaction.
He still owns this car and, up until recently, was driving it every day to and from school and wherever he was working (once he got his full license, of course).
He has since also made some of his own modifications to the car – which I won’t go into too much detail about. Almost all that has been done to the car, though, was done by him. He made sure to learn what he needed in order to do just about anything he wanted to do to the car.
“Shopping? I’ll Do That On The Way Home, Ok?”
As the heading here indicates, since shortly after he had his (newer / more reliable) car, he has been more than willing to do “fill-in” grocery shopping – with a debit card borrowed from me or with me repaying his account if he used his own. Indeed, Z has done many other types of shopping as well – including many other household “necessities”.
Even beyond that, he’s been basically independent when it’s come to purchasing his own clothing as well. When he wanted a “gaming PC”, after enlisting my help initially, he proceeded, on his own, to find and purchase the various parts and assembled it himself. [This is something which I’ve done many times over and over. Throughout my life, not including laptop computers or anything from Apple, there are only two computers I’ve owned which I did not, personally, assemble – and I’ve gone through more than a few computers, by the way.]
All of what he’s done in this vein has been carefully budgeted for and, generally, allocated out of his own income. Z seems to fully understand the extent to which much of these are “luxury” items and ensures his income stream (and his rigorous method of saving it) is sufficient to cover them.
“Which Of Us Is Handling Dinner Tonight?”
For quite a while, he was working in a sandwich shop – even before he was driving on his own. Once he started there, he would often provide his own lunches for the next day. (Yes, you can probably guess what form his lunches frequently took). Additionally, he would also, at times, suggest he could bring home something for me for dinner on any particular day.
Shortly after the beginning of this just-completed school year, he switched to driving to and from school. At the same time, he wanted to spend more time in the machine shop (which was located at a community college near the high school). Since this would be time spent “unsupervised” by a high-school teacher, Z needed to figure out how to accomplish this. It turned out, the way to do this was to become a part-time employee … at the college … teaching machining. Yes, he really was that accomplished at machining that he was able to teach other (earlier-grade) high school students.
For that matter, he was also asked to (and did) assist in teaching evening classes … to adults. Needless to say, even though it resulted in an overall pay decrease, he dropped any other part-time job in favor of being a part-time teacher at the college. [Yes, you can just imagine how good that will eventually look on his CV.] With his afternoons free, at least some of the time, he also chose to assist with dinner preparation at times.
And, when I say “dinner preparation, ” I don’t mean assisting me with making dinner. I truly mean we would decide on what to have for dinner … and when to eat … and he would shout to me how dinner was ready and I should come and eat.
Z also just naturally and seamlessly assisted / took over with washing dishes (or loading / unloading the dishwasher), taking out the trash and recycling and, at times, sweeping or even mopping the kitchen. [I will admit this last part is not a task I have ever been particularly good at keeping up with, so it pleases me to to end how he takes it on to assist.]
New Job – In His Desired Field
Early this calendar year, as part of a presentation at the college (to “show off” the joint work between the high school and the college with the machining program), he wound up being more than a small “star of the show”. Enough so, in fact, that he was purposely “scouted” by one of the local machining companies. Taking this job would result in a small (initial) pay raise, plus, since this was a small company and really wanted him, pretty much guaranteed employment upon graduation from high school.
{Note, Z had, by this point, changed his desired career path from the one which initially resulted in the high school choice he’d made. He was now fully committed to becoming a machinist.]
Needless to say, he leapt at the opportunity. Doing so required more than a small amount of work as his class schedule needed to be shuffled around and the school had never envisioned someone becoming employable as a High School Senior from this program (for various reasons). Z, of course, stuck with it and kept pushing everyone at the school to “make it happen”.
Sure enough, happen it did and suddenly, he was leaving school every day by mid-morning to head to work. He would spend the rest of the day and afternoon at work and then drive home where we would have planned out what to do for dinner.
Even before Z had graduated, though, his employer had (in a clear attempt to entice him to stay) granted him two small pay raises. In addition to being diligent and hard-working, apparently, he really was that good.
Motorcycle??!!?
Shortly after starting at this new job (and still early this calendar year), Z decided he also wanted to learn to ride a motorcycle and get one of his own. [I had ridden a motorcycle myself, although, due to medical reasons am no longer able to.] After he made this decision, I made sure he understood the general process of learning to ride (which starts with taking the course taught by the Motorcycle Safety Foundation – and all of the gear required, not just for the course, but also for personal protection).
Sure enough, he immediately started doing the rest of the research and budgeting to take the course, purchase his equipment and buy a (of course) used motorcycle. He was able to secure a slot for the very first course taught in this area for this year. Following that, he purchased the necessary gear (helmet, riding jacking, riding gloves – and even specialized riding shoes with protective pads where the top of the toes interact with the bike). He made sure to get the necessary paperwork out of the way first (basically another learner’s permit, but this time for a motorcycle).
Before it was time for the course, he was also doing intensive research into what motorcycles were available nearby which he would be interested in buying. He even went so far as to arrange with a seller that he wanted the opportunity to purchase that bike once he had the motorcycle endorsement (on his license) and providing the motorcycle was, indeed in as good shape as it was represented as being in.
This also gave him a very specific budgetary goal he was now aiming for. When and where possible, he worked extra hours at the machine shop to make sure he would be able to make his budget once he’d completed the course.
Before he’d even taken the course, he went to look at the bike and it seemed fine. But, of course, not being certified to ride yet, he couldn’t be sure. He was much more excited and committed to it, however. Then, literally a week after he he had his motorcycle endorsement, he went to complete purchasing it. He even went so far as to enlist a friend of his to bring a truck and they got a motorcycle trailer so it could be transported back home.
Purchase completed, there was suddenly a relatively recent motorcycle sitting in my garage between both of our cars. He has also since learned how to change the bike’s oil and lubricate the chain for the bike – thus allowing him to save on those expenses since he’s not paying a mechanic to do those tasks. He is is own mechanic. [“Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance” has nothing on this kid, that’s for sure.]
Graduation and Full-Time Work
A few weeks before he finished school, as a graduation “present”, Z’s employer told him he would be receiving yet another hourly pay increase as soon as he converted to full-time. Of course, he would (upon graduation) also then be eligible for any and all benefits provided by them.
He graduated from high school just a week or so ago. True to their promise, his hourly rate was bumped up. [They actually had done so a week prior.] He is a very happy employee, as far as I can determine.
At the end of most dinner-times, he prepares his lunch for the next day and leaves it sitting in the refrigerator. Then, in the morning, even before I’m awake, he gets up to his own alarm, dresses, grabs his lunch, and heads to work (either riding his motorcycle if the weather permits, or in his car if it doesn’t). Granted, part of that he’s been doing for several months, but, for me, it “feels” a bit different since he is now a full-time employee.
When he returns home in the late afternoon, he has clearly been working and I regularly joke with him about how he definitely seems to be wearing a “work perfume” – Eau de Machine Shop. He is still coordinating with me, every day, regarding dinners. [Granted, a lot of the time, this becomes a bit of a back-and-forth game of “I dunno, what do you want for dinner tomorrow?”, but we both endure it.]
Caring For the Property
All of which brings me to what, ultimately, inspired me to craft this entry. Towards the very end of last year, I came to the realization that paying for a “landscaper” (which largely means “cut the grass” and “clear the driveway of snow”) had become prohibitively expensive.
I discussed this with Z at the time and he offered to take over those responsibilities, provided I was willing / able to cover the initial costs of equipment. I admitted I was concerned about such costs (as I did some quick research into the cost of a new snowblower and lawnmower).
“Don’t worry – we can get used ones,” was his immediate response. Sure enough, enlisting the aid of a friend of his (who had been in the same school and now had his own landscaping business) he was able to find and we purchased a used snowblower, while his friend sold us a used lawnmower and “weed-whacker” / edge-trimmer. This past winter was quite mild with barely any significant snow-fall, so not much needed to be done until when Spring started just recently.
Once more, true to his word, Z has taken care of mowing the lawn and trimming the edges of it. He was doing so earlier this afternoon, which was, truly, the source of inspiration.
Oh, for today’s pass, he had let a couple of weeks go by since the last time, resulting in the grass having gotten a bit longer than he had expected and him needing to take several pauses to empty the lawnmower bag. But by the same token, he completed the job – even to the point of mentioning how he wanted to look to purchase and scatter some more seed in a couple of spots which are bare (mostly behind the house due to very little light penetration through nearby overhanging trees).
The Final Assessment
Honestly, I feel extremely confident in declaring Z is very much a current embodiment of Gen-X. Does he still spend a lot of time on his phone or playing games on his computer? Absolutely. But, at the same time, he takes responsibilities very seriously – not just his own but those he’s taken on.
I truly have the sense he could be transported back in time to the late ’60s and early ’70s and, aside from a small amount of culture shock regarding the lack of technology, he would be quite comfortable there – possibly even more so than some of the “real” Gen-X, but that’s not something I could comfortably determine.
Regardless, I think it is quite safe to say he is (and will remain) an independent soul – able to care for himself and, when that time comes, the family he ultimately forms.
And I, for one, cannot wait to see him thrive in that role. [No, this is not an entreaty nor wish for him to start a family any time especially soon. I’m confident he will do so eventually. And I believe he will be as awesome at that as he has been at everything else he’s taken on.]
